Step 1, yarn.

Step 2, cast on.

Step 3, knit and knit and knit.

Step 4, no really, keep knitting.

Step 5, DO NOT FALL PREY TO THE TEMPTATION TO QUIT, this is NOT five and a half inches of ribbing, and you will be sad if you stop now.

But it is almost five and a half inches, so in a little bit you can stop that and do something more amusing any moment now. And then you’ll be glad you kept going.  But now it’s totally appropriate to mutter under your breath and wonder about the chance of getting your ears shortened a bit to allow for shallower hat brims…