Folks, I fear things have gotten significantly out of hand. I have set the good, respectable, useful knitting aside. I do not expect to take it up again for quite some time.
I have, instead, given myself over to the grip of this absurdity.
I feel no remorse. None. I am scandalously unashamed.
I know this will bring me absurd levels of glee, and I will by god chase that glee when I can. You can come along with me if you like.