Poor life choices
Published On: October 21, 2022

Have I sewn the purple, curly-tipped hat to a hair clip?

Yes. I regret to report that after much egging on by the rowdier element amongst us, I have succumbed to peer pressure and/or my baser instincts and done exactly that.

Is this the right way to do it, the way you’re supposed to do such things?

Folks, if you can use concepts like ‘supposed to’ and ‘right way’ when it comes to an activity like sewing a tiny, pointy knit hat to a hairclip, we have such wildly different concepts of authority and permission that I may not be of much use to you in answering that question.

All I can say is it’s on there, and it’s not coming off by accident. Any grander claims would be a stretch.

Does it work, can you wear it?

You? You can almost certainly wear it. Because I suspect you are a bastion of grace and poise and can pull off anything you put your mind to.

I, on the other hand, am blessed with the levels of grace and poise normally only seen in a two day old egg salad sandwich and will not be wearing this out in public any time soon.

The pattern is Ensorcellment, should you wish to attempt such a feat yourself. Now if you’ll excuse me, I believe I may need to go into hiding until my shame abates.

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