Bedeck
Anyone with a paid Patreon membership gets this pattern included free in their membership. They get a bunch of other patterns too!
Here's a preview of the patterns you get at the Sheer Nonsense ($3), Utter Nonsense ($6), and Rampant Nonsense ($12) levels. Oh and there are a couple of goodies for free members too! And of course, you can change or cancel your membership at any time, and you'll still have access to anything you got while you're a member, even if you cancel later.
Some things you do just because they’re fun. Some things you do just because you need a quick win. Some things you do just because they’re pretty. Some things you do just because you need a way to connect with someone. And those things can be every bit as valid as the things you do to be practical or functional.
And tiny hats? Well, they’re pretty great at all of that!
They only take an hour or two to knit (they’re perfect for using yarn scraps leftover from bigger projects). They’re a great way to practice new stitches or try out color combinations you want to play with. They make adorable ornaments. I’ve even been known to stick one on top of a present as a bow or tuck one in a card.
And really, that seems like plenty to ask from something so tiny!
Scintillation
These only exist because the hearts were so much fun. Well, that, and I wanted to see if I could make them with absolutely no seaming, no picking up stitches, and only two ends to weave in (the answer was yes, yes I could, which is just darn nifty).
Seriously though, the hearts were so much fun (and so popular with you folks) that I wanted to see what other sorts of tiny nonsense you’d let me get away with. Because really, there was every chance that the hearts were a fluke and only popular because I managed to bring them out shortly before valentines day.
But making tiny little structural things satisfies my brain in a way I cannot fully explain, so I wanted to do it again. And so the stars happened. And they’ve been my bestselling pattern ever since. I love it when you like my weird little projects as much as I do!
Shiversome
Look, I have a somewhat complicated relationship with winter in general and with snow in particular.
There’s a fairly outspoken seven year old inside me who thinks it’s great. Snow days, snow angels, sledding…what’s not to like? But there’s also a very tired 40something in there who is really quite sick of shoveling the driveway and driving on slippery roads and worrying about the roof.
I’m trying to find the happy medium. Tucking up under woolly blankets with a new book, hot chocolate ready to hand, watching the snow while I am safely inside is actually rather lovely. And since winter is happening regardless of how I feel about it, I might as well try to enjoy what it has to offer.
But I’m definitely still working on coming to terms with the cold. And these little buddies help. Yes, they are snowmen. But they’re the warmest, coziest, toastiest snowmen you’ll ever meet. No cold toes or freezing fingers or wind reddened cheeks required.
Chilled
So it started with the owls (and I’ve heard rumors of some very sneaky foxes), but we all knew it wasn’t going to end there. Because really, once you’ve realized you’re the sort of person who is susceptible to small knitted friends, it’s all but inevitable that you’ll end up with a whole assortment of them. I mean they lead such delightful lives, how could anyone resist? (Their names are Penny and Gwen. They run the ice skating rink in the winter and the swimming pool in the summer. They throw the very best parties and are always encouraging folks to break out their favorite fancy clothes, no matter the occasion.)
And look, it’s fine if you look at these and find yourself wondering if perhaps I spent a bit too much time outside without a hat as a child. I fully understand that not everyone will be as enchanted with them as I am, and I would never, ever, ever suggest that anyone actually needs them.
But, on the off chance that you suddenly want nothing more than to attend the next penguin ball, I’d be delighted to meet you there. I can’t wait to see what you wear!
Tethered
Anyone with a paid Patreon membership gets this pattern included free in their membership. They get a bunch of other patterns too!
Here's a preview of the patterns you get at the Sheer Nonsense ($3), Utter Nonsense ($6), and Rampant Nonsense ($12) levels. Oh and there are a couple of goodies for free members too! And of course, you can change or cancel your membership at any time, and you'll still have access to anything you got while you're a member, even if you cancel later.
As always, I will not be attempting to convince you that you need these. I will not pretend that they serve any practical purpose. I will not suggest that they solve any of your problems.
I will say only that you can sit down with your needles, a tiny ball of leftover yarn, and the pattern and stand up an hour or two later with a teeny tiny pair of mittens. What happens after that is up to you.
You could probably make a reasonable case for using them as a bookmark or a Christmas tree ornament, or for turning a bunch of them into a garland, or for using them to keep one of your little knitted buddies warm on a cold night.
And I will admit that everyone I’ve shown them to has made something that would be called a squee of delight, were my friends not far too dignified to make such a sound. So the idea of tucking them into a card or tying them around a tiny present (so that the recipient can see them in private, where the demands of dignity are somewhat relaxed, and a person can squee without fear of scandal) has a certain appeal.
But really, I make them because sometimes the burdens of the outside world are simply too much to bear, and I need something absurd and adorable that I can finish in an afternoon. And then I share them with you. Just in case you might need that too.
Palpitation
This was the very first bit of tiny nonsense I ever knit.
I was having a bad time. I’d broken my leg. I couldn’t get comfortable to knit for more than twenty minutes at a time. Everything felt absolutely impossible. So I knit these. I knit piles and piles and piles of these sweet, silly little distractions.
I almost didn’t write a pattern because I truly wasn’t sure anyone needed any such thing. But when I shared a few pictures, folks were absolutely besotted. So I wrote them up, and they’ve been one of my most popular patterns ever since. I am truly delighted that you love them as much as I do!
They’ve shown up as decorations or favors at weddings and baby showers and birthday parties. They’ve been tucked in lunch boxes and book bags and coat pockets on both hard days and happy ones. They’ve found their way into envelopes and through the mail to folks who needed a little surprise. They’ve shown up on Christmas trees and garlands and mobiles. They’re basically the perfect way to turn a few dozen yards of yarn and a few hours of knitting into a tiny token of good will that you can hand out as needed.
Drifts
Did I wake up one day, smack dab in the middle of a wide variety of crises, both deeply personal and more general in nature, and find myself absolutely possessed with the inescapable urge to knit a pile of snowballs? Why yes, yes I did.
Did I take myself directly to the store, bright and early that very morning, to purchase a variety of spheres and set to work satiating this urge? Also yes. With absolutely record speed.
Was I surprised when it turned out that quite a few of you also felt the need make a selection of your own projectiles to mitigate whatever personal horrors are plaguing you at the moment? I mean honestly, at this point, no.
For you see, at this point I trust that a fair number of you are either feeling the same rage I am or dealing with the same heartbreaks or just needing the same distractions. I knew many of you would love them, and some of you would find comfort and beauty in them, and maybe just maybe a few of you would throw them just as hard as you could against the nearest wall when you needed to vent a little steam. Or you could just hang them on your christmas tree. That’s totally ok too!
Whatever you decide to do with them, I hope they bring your hands and your heart and your head a little moment of calm and remind you that you can make beautiful things, even when the world feels like it’s on fire.
Deviltry
You don’t need these. You really don’t. Some of you may even be scandalized by them (which really, if this is what you can muster the energy to be scandalized by given the state of the world, well then I admire your equanimity in the face of actual catastrophes). But I know, in my heart of hearts, that there are some of you who will have you day made better by these little dudes. That, or you’ll use them to make someone else’s day better, and that’s just as good.
Because the world is on fire. And it feels like the bad guys are winning. And we’re all exhausted and terrified and overwhelmed. And that’s not going to stop any time soon.
But when it feels like that, there’s something powerful in putting down your phone, picking up your needles, and making some absurd little thing that brings you joy or making something you know will make someone else smile. No it’s not practical. No it’s not necessary. But making a little bit of time to do something joyful is surprisingly powerful. And I want you to know exactly how powerful you are.
Glowing
If you looked at these and though "ooooh, I wanna color them" you're not alone! I've made a little coloring book with images of a couple of my favorites. It's free, and you can download it over here! And if you're worried they're hard, I've got a little free download over here with some sample folds so you can try it out ahead of time to make sure you can do it.
Every year, right about when the time changes and the sun starts setting well before dinnertime, I am overcome with the urge to make these. I fold them by the dozen and absolutely fill my windows. I can't explain it. I can't justify it. I have absolutely no idea how something made from nothing more than a few sheets of paper and a couple of stickers can be so utterly enchanting. But somehow they are.
They satisfy my brain in much the same way as knitting. You use simple materials (yarn, or paper), and a tiny handful of fundamental techniques (knit & purl stitches, or straight & diagonal folds), and repeat the same actions over and over (stitch after stitch after stitch, or fold after fold after fold). And somehow you end up with something that feels like so much more than the sum of its parts.
They've been a touchstone of my year for longer than I can remember (the family lore is that they were one of the holiday crafts the nuns at my German kindergarten taught me to make). They make even the darkest winter days seem just a bit brighter and more bearable. And, while I certainly don't have the commanding presence of an elderly German nun, I absolutely love the idea of sharing them with all of you.
I hope they bring you a little light when the world feels dark!
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