Bedeck
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Some things you do just because they’re fun. Some things you do just because you need a quick win. Some things you do just because they’re pretty. Some things you do just because you need a way to connect with someone. And those things can be every bit as valid as the things you do to be practical or functional.
And tiny hats? Well, they’re pretty great at all of that!
They only take an hour or two to knit (they’re perfect for using yarn scraps leftover from bigger projects). They’re a great way to practice new stitches or try out color combinations you want to play with. They make adorable ornaments. I’ve even been known to stick one on top of a present as a bow or tuck one in a card.
And really, that seems like plenty to ask from something so tiny!
Unspooled
Patrons at any level get this pattern for free as part of their membership, and they get a bunch of other patterns too! Here’s a preview of the free patterns you get a the Sheer Nonsense level ($3), the Utter Nonsense level ($6), and Rampant Nonsense level ($12).
So sometimes? Sometimes I knit something just to see if I can, with absolutely no thought to whether I should. Luckily, I design knitting patterns (not, say, rockets or bridges or viruses), so the consequences of this rather haphazard approach are fairly low. But that's totally what happened here.
You see, I was having a little dalliance with sewing. And I was at that awkward stage of learning a new thing where you're sort of surrounded by tools and supplies and practice projects and everything feels more than a bit overwhelming. I needed to take a little break from being terrible at sewing and do something I actually knew how to do. But sewing was apparently still very much on my mind, and these where what happened when I switched to knitting needles instead of sewing needles!
Oddly enough, thanks to the inclusion of a few strategically placed magnets, the big ones actually make a really useful pin tray and pattern weight. So I did find a way to use them to do something more than just soothe my ego (those first few sewing projects are a humbling experience). And I have a feeling I'll use the tiny ones to show off my treasured collection of gorgeous silk embroidery thread.
But really, I suspect most of you are going to knit these just because you can!
Chimney
Once upon a time, a friend with kids came over for a visit and saw the tray of blocks that lived on my coffee table. She started talking about how nice it was when folks without kids had toys around for kids to play with when they stopped by.
I did not have the heart to explain that those were my blocks.
They were mine. They were for me. And I will totally share them with you if you visit! But they are very much mine. And I’m going to play with them, regardless of my age or how ridiculous it might seem.
That’s pretty much how I feel about these little houses. I want to play with them. I want to make a whole village. I want houses and a tea shop and a bookstore and a school and everything else I can dream up. I want to use just the right colors and arrange them just so and dream up little stories for the folks who live there. Regardless of my age. Even if it’s ridiculous.
But I will share them with you if you’d like.
Scintillation
These only exist because the hearts were so much fun. Well, that, and I wanted to see if I could make them with absolutely no seaming, no picking up stitches, and only two ends to weave in (the answer was yes, yes I could, which is just darn nifty).
Seriously though, the hearts were so much fun (and so popular with you folks) that I wanted to see what other sorts of tiny nonsense you’d let me get away with. Because really, there was every chance that the hearts were a fluke and only popular because I managed to bring them out shortly before valentines day.
But making tiny little structural things satisfies my brain in a way I cannot fully explain, so I wanted to do it again. And so the stars happened. And they’ve been my bestselling pattern ever since. I love it when you like my weird little projects as much as I do!
Hoard
These win the prize for the quickest and very possibly the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever knit (though to be fair, there is a good bit of competition for that last category). It’s also the thing I’ve knit the most times. By, oh, let’s just say by a rather substantial margin. I think I knit a dozen in an afternoon when the urge first came upon me.
For you see, there is a massive oak tree in my yard. And I’ve rather bonded with this tree. I see it out my office window all day long, and I love it dearly. Every year it drops absolute masses of double acorns. One fall, as I was spending some time with the tree, I noticed one tiny, gleaming acorn hanging out in a little pocket of moss nestled in the space between two tree roots.
It was unspeakably perfect, the sort of thing you see on a postcard and think it’s just a bit too charming to ever be real. So naturally I started wondering what it would look like with a knitted acorn. And then, well, you know what happens when I get an idea like that.
The pattern originally had you use real acorn caps for the tops of each acorn, and I’m still awfully fond of this approach. But I was eventually overcome by the urge to do a knitted version of the acorn cap (yes, yes absolutely including a double version, how could I resist), so now the pattern includes both options.
There’s absolutely nothing practical to do with them at all. They serve no useful function whatsoever. But I suspect you’ll find them every bit as irresistible as I do. Though I’ll warn you, it’s shockingly difficult to knit just one.
Foraged
I have it on good authority that taking a walk in the woods with me is, um, let’s say “challenging.” For you see, I am naturally inclined to wander. To meander. To stray from the path at the slightest provocation to investigate the mossy tree stump or lichen-covered stone wall or nifty rock or shiny feather or glossy acorn or, on more than one occasion, the faintly menacing yet still strangely appealing mushrooms that magically appeared since last I passed this way.
Now, I (usually) manage to (more or less) restrain myself and don’t (often) pick them. But oh, oh it takes more self control than I prefer to exercise. Which is why it should surprise absolutely no one that I eventually gave in and knit myself a whole pile of these little delights.
Alas, much as with their real-life counterparts, I must recommend that you not eat them. But, other than that, you can be as unrestrained as you’d like. I fully support knitting a whole collection of them and tucking them somewhere unexpected. You never know when someone distractible will be walking by to delight in them!
Hatched
These were never intended to see the light of day. They were meant to be for my own private amusement, inflicted on no one else.
For you see, I am a board game person (not one of you is shocked). And not just a board game person, but one of those people whose enjoyment of a board game is substantially increased if the various bits and pieces of the game are...cute (again, not a single one of you is shocked). So it was only natural that I knit myself a little nest to hold the egg-shaped tokens in one of my favorite games (someone is about to ask, it’s called Wingspan and it’s great).
And then, well then the nest made an appearance in a couple of random instagram pictures, because that sort of thing happens. And it turns out rather a lot of you share my peculiar predilections and wanted to do something similar. And I couldn’t in good conscience do just the nest by itself. So naturally I decided to add in some eggs (because somehow that makes it better?).
So here we are. A little nest, complete with drawstring ready to turn it into a pouch for game pieces or candy or whatever else you find amusing, and some eggs to go with it. Because sometimes these things happen. It’s better not to fight it.
Gripping
Nope. Nope I cannot bring myself to try to convince you that you need knitted tentacles in your life. This is not the sort of belief anyone is persuaded to hold. Either you come to know of the existence, nay the mere possibility, of knitted tentacles and you are instantly and inescapably gripped by the urge to make an entire swarm of them. Or you are not.
And either response is absolutely fine! You can live a full and happy life never once holding a knitted tentacle in your hand—never once bending it just so and using it to display your favorite bit of driftwood or pressing it into service as the perfect paperweight turned pen holder or having it pressing it into service to stand guard over your very favorite shells and rocks and tiny treasures. I’m absolutely sure you can go about your day without ever indulging in such flights of fancy.
I, however, am not nearly so stoic or respectable. And I confess, I look forward to seeing what my fellow reprobates create once the more respectable folks have left the room.
Binding
Look, I probably shouldn’t love these as much as I do. I fully acknowledge that they’re a modest amusement at best, a scandalous waste of time at worst. But somehow I find them unspeakably charming and am completely unable to resist.
They just hit all my sweet spots.
They turn a very modest collection of supplies (a single sheet of material, a few feet of ribbon or tape measure, a bit of sewing thread, a scrap of yarn) into something both adorable and useful using only the most basic of knitting and sewing skills (a bit of knitting too small to be a respectable swatch, a handful of straight lines of stitching). They offers the faint hope that I will maybe, just maybe, finally be the sort of person who always knows where their scissors and darning needle and tape measure are. And they let me go ‘ooooh, tiny book!’ which is clearly just one of the things my brain likes to do!
Now, will they be enough to finally turn me into a truly organized person? I mean I assume not. But I’m willing to find out!
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