Things occur
I regret to inform you that all good sense has fled. All that is left is a fondness for absurdities and a susceptibility to cute things. And when you mix that with a whole bunch of yarn scraps and a scandalous lack of self restraint...well...things are bound to occur.
Flair
There is something So Dam Satisfying about this stitch. I think it's because it's built around ribbing (which is easy and practical and functional always looks good) but has just enough flair that you don't get bored. And really, I know it looks a bit fancy (sort of like cables? sort of like little starbursts? sort of like something all together different?), so you kind of want to peer at it and go 'huh, how does it do that?!' But really it's just a slightly glorified version of the most basic decreases. Like really, if you can do left/right-leaning decreases [...]
Semblance
That pretty little bit of business? The one with the speckles & the big fat yarn? The one I knit in two sittings? It's out! It's called Semblance, and you can find it on ravelry and payhip. This is one of those magical patterns that looks so much more complicated than it is. That fancy stitch? Yeah, it's precisely five stitches wise and two rows tall. And if you've ever worked even the most basic increases and decreases, you've totally already got the skills you need to work it (though of course, it's all explained in frankly alarming detail in [...]
Clap
Please clap. I have woven in Twenty Four Ends (six leafs, two colors per leaf, two ends per color). Now normally I actually love weaving in ends. But twenty four ends, in brioche (so both sides are the pretty side, so you have to be extra careful), in slightly slinky yarn (so you have to secure them a bit more than with a grippier yarn), was still An Undertaking. But it's done now, which means I can get these blocked and primped for some fancy photos some time soon!
Scarlet
I am saying it so none of you beat me to it. Yes, it does look sort of like a tongue. And yes, I read enough classic kids' books to immediately start making scarlet fever jokes. I'm classy like that.
Good decisions
Yup. This is fine. Totally fine. There is absolutely no cause for alarm. You and I are both reasonable, sensible adults who make good decisions and use our time well.
Questionable
So you know how I'm a bossy know-it-all with delusions of grandeur (at least according to the very best rude comment I ever got, I swear there should be t shirts)? Yeah, well, I think I'm going to lean into that and see about doing a monthly advice column. Part of me feels like this is scandalously presumptuous (who am I to give anyone advice). Part of me feels like I'm actually pretty damn good at this knitting thing. I've been making a job of it for nigh on fifteen years now. And I actually do have good answers to [...]
Raise that
I was quite frank about the possibility of incipient absurdities. I believe I can now raise that from a possibility to a certainty. If I didn't have to look up the difference between a weather watch vs warning Every Single Time, I'd make some sort of amusing comment based on that. However, I am simply incapable of retaining that information (no matter how many mnemonics folks suggest). And I assume I am not the only one (as far as I can tell, no one is EVER the only one who has trouble with whatever that thing they feel weird about [...]
Shenanigans
There...there might be shenanigans underway. This could quickly rise to the level of hi-jinks. All manner of absurdities are possible.
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